Beck – Chapter 8

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Kole was a jittery mess all day on Saturday. So much so that he locked himself away in his studio—he still couldn’t believe he had one—and daydreamed about how things might go. He refused to let his thoughts wander into “bad” territory because he didn’t want his fears to take hold and stop him from enjoying what Beck was offering. He wasn’t stupid. Beck wouldn’t want a relationship with him, but while he was offering satisfaction, who was Kole to say no?

Ethan asked him several times if he was okay when he’d checked on him, and all he could say was yes. He wasn’t going to say anything about their “date” because it wasn’t a date. It was a mutually beneficial agreement.

And Kole couldn’t fucking wait.

He had an itch that needed scratching and Beck was the one to do it.

By the time he finished work, his hands shook, and he could barely hold his pen. He said goodbye to whoever he saw on his way out but didn’t actively seek anyone out. He wouldn’t have been able to start a decent conversation even if he had.

Home was a small one-bedroomed flat that he would probably never decorate. It still had the white walls and ceilings, the wood effect countertops, cupboards and flooring and a plain white bathroom suite, but it worked for him. He didn’t need anything fancy. Having no clue where his future would take him, he’d finally decided, upon taking the chance to move to London, that he would take things as they came and not worry unduly about things he might not be able to change. It was making life easier for him—at least at the moment.

Checking his phone, he saw he had a little over two hours before Beck would be there to pick him up. Kole froze, his hand staying mid-air as he reached for a mug, and the air caught in his lungs. He hadn’t even asked why Beck was picking him up. He’d expected them to just spend the night with each other. Were they going somewhere? Or was Beck just picking him up to take him to his house?

Kole’s hand resumed its movements, bringing down his favourite mug. Trying not to think about what that evening might entail was hard, but he blanked his mind as much as he could, watching the colours of the tea mix with the water, changing it until he was happy with it, and then he added a splash of milk. Stirring his brew, he lifted it to his lips and blew across the top, sending steam across his face. He inhaled and closed his eyes for a brief moment and then headed for the sofa. Time. He just needed a few minutes to get his head levelled, and then he could get himself ready.

Letting his mind drift as he finished his tea, he finally relaxed enough for his muscles to tell him exactly how tense he had been. The last dregs of tea slid down his throat, and he stood, deciding on a semi-long soak in the bath. He had time. Putting the mug in the kitchen to clean up later, he headed down the hallway, pausing when a knock sounded. Frowning, he backtracked and looked through the peephole. Eyes widening, he stared at the Beck-shaped person on the other side of the door.

Inhaling, he opened the door. Beck had his hands braced on either side of the door, his head lowered, but his eyes on Kole as soon as the door revealed him. Kole’s breath caught.

“I’m sorry,” Beck said. His nostrils flared as he inhaled audibly. “I couldn’t wait any longer.”

He stepped forward, slamming into Kole with the force of a tornado, his arms sliding around him the only thing keeping Kole from falling to the floor. But Kole didn’t care because Beck’s mouth was on his, and it was heaven. His eyelids fluttered closed, and he opened for Beck’s questing tongue. The taste hit him like a drug, a hint of mint as if he’d chewed one before he arrived, a tang of tomato, possibly from his dinner, and everything that was Beck. Then, when Beck groaned into his mouth, Kole forgot everything but holding on as Beck ravished him. His fingers gripped the back of Beck’s shirt, and he just felt.

Distantly, there was a thud, and then they were moving. Kole stumbled, but Beck kept him upright and then went further by grabbing the backs of his thighs and lifting him. Kole yelped into Beck’s mouth and wrapped his legs around his waist automatically, his arms tightening around his back and neck. And then they were kissing again, Beck carrying him forward.

“Ah!” Kole shouted when his stomach dropped as he fell backwards. Luckily, he bounced on the sofa cushions and was covered by a warm body seconds later.

“Fuck, Kole. You’re addictive,” Beck groaned before joining their lips again.

Blood rushed to Kole’s cock, and he thrust upwards, grinding against Beck and feeling the answering hardness press back against him. No doubt crept in, no shiver of unease, and no lifting of the hairs on his arms—well, unless he counted the good lifting of the hairs. Because what Beck was doing with his mouth and hands was pure physical goodness.

Kole grabbed Beck’s T-shirt, finding the hem and pushing it up until Beck had no choice but to pull back so he could take it over his head. His fingertips tingled where they touched naked skin, and Beck’s breath hitched, his eyelids drifting closed before snapping open to pierce Kole with the bright blue orbs. Kole’s gaze took in the dark accents of his hair, eyebrows and beard over his tanned skin and the lines at the edges of his eyes but also the lines creasing his forehead. He was a conundrum, and one Kole wanted to figure out. He seemed to have so much laughter in his life, but when they were alone, that laughter was muted, and his seriousness—pain, even—became clearer. He wanted to help whatever worried him. Take away his pain.

Kole blinked rapidly, exhaling. “Fuck me, Beck,” he whispered, needing to divert his thoughts. He couldn’t be thinking of more because they were just a friends-with-benefits thing. Nothing more.

Beck unbuttoned the first few of Kole’s shirt and then dragged it over his head before fusing their lips and swallowing Kole’s hiss of delight as their chests touched. Their hips kept moving, bringing Kole closer and closer to the edge, but he pushed it away, not wanting to come until Beck was inside him. His hands went to Beck’s jeans, unfastening them and pushing them down before using his feet to finish the job and kick them to the floor. Beck followed suit with Kole’s trousers, briefly lifting off him to yank them off his feet and somewhere behind him. Then he covered Kole’s body again, and Kole sighed.

“So warm,” Beck muttered, his face nestled into Kole’s neck while his tongue tasted his skin.

Kole hummed as he dropped his head to the side, giving Beck more space, all the while grinding against him and sending his arousal skyrocketing. They should slow down, but his mind was too far gone to object. He needed Beck like the blood that ran through his body—and focused in his cock—and he wanted more.

“More,” he said, moving his legs to the side and wrapping them around his tempting lover. “Give me more,” he murmured, his hands sliding down Beck’s back to his ass. Squeezing the tight muscles, he ground up again.

“Jesus, Kole.” Beck lifted his head, bracing his hands by his head. “I need my jeans.” He scrambled off, ignoring Kole’s complaints, so Kole pressed the palm of his hand against his dick, groaning as electricity sparked through him. Beck paused, glancing over his shoulder, eyes darkening as they focused on Kole’s movements. “Fuck.”

Beck rummaged in his pockets until he returned with two packets. Kole breathed easier, glad one of them was thinking straight. It certainly wasn’t him. Beck knelt between his legs once more, and Kole scraped his teeth over his lower lip, knowing what he wanted to say, but it wasn’t his place. Beck was the more dominant of the two of them, and he didn’t want to ruin what was happening by giving orders—even though he wanted to.

“Let’s get these off, shall we?” Beck hooked his fingers in the waistband of Kole’s briefs and paused, and Kole realised it hadn’t been a rhetorical question.

“Definitely. As long as yours go, too.”

Beck grinned. “Wouldn’t want anything less.”

Stripping off Kole’s and then his own, Beck crawled back up Kole’s body, kissing skin as he went.

“Inside me, Beck. Please.”

“Your wish is my command.”

He spent several long minutes stretching Kole’s hole while their tongues duelled and retreated repeatedly.

“Now!” Kole ordered, unable to keep his words inside any longer. “Do as you’re fucking told, Beck.”

Beck exhaled into his mouth, his muscles relaxing fractionally before he rose and slid the condom down his length. Kole’s mouth watered—he’d get his mouth on that soon enough.

He lifted his gaze. “Now, Beck. I’m fed up of waiting.”

“Yes,” Beck breathed and rested the head of his shaft at Kole’s entrance.

Kole hooked his ankles at Beck’s lower back and pulled him in, lodging the head in his ass, and they both groaned. His ass was stretched beyond what he’d ever remembered it being before, and the heat from him was exquisite torture. Beck paused, and Kole’s eyes snapped open, glaring at him.

“Move,” he demanded, and Beck swallowed hard and slid deeper, so much deeper. Kole’s jaw dropped and his eyes rolled back in his head. “Fuck.”

Beck paused again, but Kole didn’t complain that time. The man was as deep inside him as he could be, and it was fucking delicious. Kole slid his arms around Beck’s neck and nipped at his lower lip.

“Fuck me, Beck. I’m yours.”

Beck’s eyes darkened more than they already had, the bright blue having bled into a deeper colour as the pupils took over. He kissed him, needing that connection again, and as their tongues slid alongside each other, Beck moved, slowly at first and then harder and faster. Until all Kole could see, feel, hear, smell and taste was Beck.

His orgasm crashed down on him with no warning. One moment, he was riding the wave, and the next, he was tumbling over the surf into the water headfirst.

“Fuck, Kole.”

Beck dropped his head into Kole’s neck, cursed again, and held himself still, but Kole could feel the pulse of his climax deep inside him. Kole tightened his hold, never wanting it to end.

When Beck finally relaxed, Kole still kept hold, his fingers raking through his hair as his breathing slowed. Kole stared at a point on the ceiling and prayed that his heart could lock itself away before Beck lifted his head. Their coupling had been way more than he had ever expected, and he was worried he wouldn’t be able to hide his feelings. Though what those feelings were, he wasn’t entirely sure, but he knew they weren’t suitable for what they’d just shared.

As Beck moved, Kole locked the box and managed a smile when their gazes met.

“I had plans to take you to dinner, but when I got back from Cornwall, it was like I was a junkie. My entire body shook with the need to get to you. Sorry. I promise I’m usually more romantic than this.”

Kole chuckled and cupped Beck’s cheek. “You don’t need to worry. It was probably good to get that out of the way. We would’ve combusted before we finished dinner at that rate.” Beck’s cheeks flushed, and Kole pressed his lips to the reddened area. “Besides, we can order pizza.”

Beck moved, and his cock slid free, making Kole wince slightly. “Sorry.”

“You feel bigger than you look, and you look big enough as it is.” Kole wasn’t complaining.


Kole chuckled. “You don’t need to be sorry. About anything. We needed that. I needed that.”

Beck rose and looked around, holding the used condom. “Bathroom?” he asked, meeting Kole’s gaze again.

He gave directions, and while Beck cleaned up, he did the same in the kitchen and pulled his briefs back on. What would happen now? Would they eat and chat, or would Beck make an excuse and leave? Kole didn’t want him to, but he wouldn’t push the guy to stay if he didn’t want to. While the thoughts prowled his mind, sending his stomach into a spin, he opened the drawer he’d already dedicated to takeaway menus, but the arms that slid around his waist settled his nerves as nothing else could have at that moment.

Beck’s lips pressed against his neck, something he seemed to do a lot, and Kole leaned back into him.

“Any preference?” he asked.

“I could go for a pizza, but anything goes for me.”

His lips distracted Kole for a few seconds, but then he blinked and cleared his throat. “Okay, pizza it is.” Beck’s hands wandered while Kole tried to input the order, asking Beck questions about his toppings and receiving hums in agreement, but his tongue was more distracting than his lips.

Finally, he managed to place the order. “Forty-five minutes, it says.” He turned in Beck’s arms and slid his hands to his neck. “Would you like a drink while we wait?”

Beck crowded closer. “How about a shower first?”

Kole smiled. “Sure. I’ll show you where it is.”

Beck tightened his hold. “And I hope you’ll join me.”

The words were soft, a little unsure, and that would’ve been more than enough for him to say yes, but it was the need in Beck’s eyes that floored him. This need wasn’t heat. It wasn’t arousal. It was something deeper. A need to just be, maybe. Kole couldn’t identify it, but he wouldn’t let him down if that was what he needed.

“Wouldn’t miss the chance to be with you,” he whispered against Beck’s lips.

They shared a soft, explorative kiss—so different from what they’d shared when Beck turned up earlier than planned, but no less devastating. Kole’s head spun when they pulled back.

Beck took his hands and pulled him towards the bathroom. “Come on. Maybe I can make you come again before the pizza gets here.” He winked.

It was certainly a mutually beneficial shower, and they had towels wrapped around their waists when there was a knock at the door. Kole checked the peephole and opened the door, smiling at the delivery driver. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Kole didn’t miss the lingering glances he received, but he ignored it, in favour of trying not to shiver from the cool air coming from outside his apartment. He liked his creature comforts, which included central heating. Beck pressed up against his back, his arms banding around him.

“Thanks for the food, man,” Beck said to the delivery driver and nodded before closing the door.

Kole chuckled and shook his head, carrying the pizza to the coffee table. “Drink?”

“I got it,” Beck said, so Kole settled on the sofa, enjoying the warmth seeping into him. He probably should have dressed, but he liked being half-naked with Beck. He opened the pizza, but before he could grab a slice, Beck was back, nudging him forward so he could settle behind him, his legs bracketing Kole’s body. He’d never thought of the position as anything but neutral until that moment, but even with the towels separating them, he was branded by Beck’s heat. And when the man lifted a slice of pizza, encouraged him to rest his head back on his shoulder and held the slice to his lips, Kole was overwhelmed. His brain misfired, his stomach held a swarm of butterflies, and he wanted nothing more than to devour Beck instead.

But he bit off a piece of pizza, chewing slowly, and contained his sigh when Beck took a bite of the same slice—after all, they had shared spit, so what was sharing a slice of pizza? Kole rested his hands on Beck’s thighs, his thumbs brushing the hairy skin, and tried to regain control of his emotions.

It had been the first time he’d let himself get carried away with anyone since Andrew, and although there still was a random bumblebee amongst those butterflies when he thought about their “relationship,” he was more relaxed about it. He’d known from the beginning that they weren’t going to be a couple, and if the sex helped him to recalibrate so he could go out and find someone, then he wasn’t going to be upset about that.

Beck fed him bites of pizza until Kole shook his head, his stomach complaining, and then he ate the rest in short order—a perfect gentleman.

Kole swallowed and brought up the one thing he had been unsure about. “You said you don’t have work tomorrow. Does that mean you can stay?”

Beck’s face was expressionless as he stared down at him, and Kole had maybe pushed too far, but then Beck’s smile spread across his face. “If you’re happy to have me here, I’m happy to stay. Besides,” he cupped Kole’s jaw, “I haven’t finished with you yet. And if I stay, I can wake you whenever I want and make you sing.”

The slight edge to his voice had Kole studying his face, but he gave nothing away. “Stay,” he whispered.

Beck’s mouth curved, and he lowered his head, brushing his lips across Kole’s before pressing harder in the brief caress. “I’d love to.”

They tidied away the food, took their drinks to the bedroom after refilling them, and climbed into bed. Kole was too sore for a repeat of earlier, but they still played—he’d forgotten how much fun it was to frot, but the moment he climaxed again, he was done. Tiredness overwhelmed him, but he managed to climb from the bed before Beck and grab a wet towel. He cleaned the man who had made him remember what it was like to have a nice time without a countdown to when they would leave. And as he wiped Beck down, he ignored what he thought might have been tears in Beck’s eyes because he didn’t want to pry—even though he did—and he understood the need to keep things to himself.

If Beck wanted to talk, he’d be there, but until then, he’d keep his questions to himself. Mostly. Because he wanted to know everything. Which was dangerous.

He had a feeling Beck was hazardous to his balance.


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